It Really Works!!!
I attended one of the Families Together webinars. It was entitled “Sensory Integration”. One of the things that Chris Curry (the presenter) talked about was how to get your child to remember things. This really interested me because one of my children has a real problem in this area. We (her Dad and I) got her a cell phone a year ago and have been struggling with how to get her to remember to take it with her in the mornings. Absolutely nothing has worked. Well, Chris talked about having you child look at something and picture what you want them to remember. This can be different for different kids and for different ages.
When I got home from work the evening after the webinar, my husband was having one of the many conversations we have had over the last year, about the importance of her remembering her cell phone. Apparently he had tried calling her that day and she did not have her phone withher. What a golden opportunity for me to try what I had learned that very day!! I told her to look at our front door and to picture her cell phone right on the door. I asked her 3 times that evening what she saw when she looked at the door and she would respond with “cell phone”. It has been over a week now and she has not forgotten her cell phone since! I am amazed. My husband was skeptical and wanted to put a note on the door, but I asked him to just let us see how this worked. He is even amazed.
Thank-you so much Families Together and Chris Curry, definitely worth the $10.00 fee for the webinar!!
FAMILIES TOGETHER WEBINARS
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Tantrums
Q. How do you curb or stop tantruming and/or crying fits in an 8 almost 9 year old little girl.? This has been an ongoing issue for me and I am done using all my tools and need some new ones.
A. It is distressing to have an older child who is still displays this behavior. Tantruming is common in younger children who use it to communicate and it usually disappears when a child discovers a more effective way to communicate. I imagine that you have been very consistent and you do not give your daughter what she is tantruming to get. However, there are several reasons why an older child will still use tantrums to express themselves even if you do not give into their requests. So, if the tantrum behavior is not getting your daughter what she wants then she is using it for another reason and will not stop until you fix the cause. You need to determine why this behavior has not disappeared in your daughter. Once you have determined why it has not disappeared you will be able to decide what needs to be done. Here are some things to think about.
1. Does your child have effective verbal communication skills? Even a child with a large vocabulary needs to be able to use that vocabulary to get their needs met. Is your child able to communicate frustration, anger, and disappointment using words or does she resort to behaviors to express emotion? If she does, you need to spend a lot of time talking and teaching your daughter how to express emotion using words.
2. Have you taught your daughter expected behaviors for her age? You may need to help your daughter mature by changing how you treat her. Teach her to use more mature behaviors by treating her differently. Include her in planning meal menus, helping with the shopping list, or planning a family outing. Have her take on a “cause” such as helping at an animal shelter or helping at a food bank.
3. Help your daughter move from being a “little girl” to a preteen young lady by bringing new topics into conversations. Have conversations about community concerns or world events. Keep it age appropriate but expand her world. For example, does she know the name of the new dog at the White House?
4. You also need to look at your daughter’s ability to calm down when she gets upset. She may need to practice and role play situations where she is very angry and then does some self talk to calm down. Before you go to a store where you may have to tell her she cannot have an item that she wants, have her practice what she will do when you say “no.”
5. Look at the amount of physical and mental stimulation she has each day. Children who do not get enough physical exercise or mental stimulation tend to be more volatile. Long walks together, swimming, and other outside activities will help the child who is too sedentary. Board games and other indoor projects will help stimulate a child mentally and be fun.
6. Does your daughter tantrum every time you say “no” or is it related to specific activities? For example, a child who only has a tantrum when it is time to do homework may be frustrated by the task and the task may be overwhelming. You may have to look at the task and decide if there is a justified frustration. If it is a specific activity, determine if there is something you can do to adjust or change the expectations to prevent the tantrums.
A. It is distressing to have an older child who is still displays this behavior. Tantruming is common in younger children who use it to communicate and it usually disappears when a child discovers a more effective way to communicate. I imagine that you have been very consistent and you do not give your daughter what she is tantruming to get. However, there are several reasons why an older child will still use tantrums to express themselves even if you do not give into their requests. So, if the tantrum behavior is not getting your daughter what she wants then she is using it for another reason and will not stop until you fix the cause. You need to determine why this behavior has not disappeared in your daughter. Once you have determined why it has not disappeared you will be able to decide what needs to be done. Here are some things to think about.
1. Does your child have effective verbal communication skills? Even a child with a large vocabulary needs to be able to use that vocabulary to get their needs met. Is your child able to communicate frustration, anger, and disappointment using words or does she resort to behaviors to express emotion? If she does, you need to spend a lot of time talking and teaching your daughter how to express emotion using words.
2. Have you taught your daughter expected behaviors for her age? You may need to help your daughter mature by changing how you treat her. Teach her to use more mature behaviors by treating her differently. Include her in planning meal menus, helping with the shopping list, or planning a family outing. Have her take on a “cause” such as helping at an animal shelter or helping at a food bank.
3. Help your daughter move from being a “little girl” to a preteen young lady by bringing new topics into conversations. Have conversations about community concerns or world events. Keep it age appropriate but expand her world. For example, does she know the name of the new dog at the White House?
4. You also need to look at your daughter’s ability to calm down when she gets upset. She may need to practice and role play situations where she is very angry and then does some self talk to calm down. Before you go to a store where you may have to tell her she cannot have an item that she wants, have her practice what she will do when you say “no.”
5. Look at the amount of physical and mental stimulation she has each day. Children who do not get enough physical exercise or mental stimulation tend to be more volatile. Long walks together, swimming, and other outside activities will help the child who is too sedentary. Board games and other indoor projects will help stimulate a child mentally and be fun.
6. Does your daughter tantrum every time you say “no” or is it related to specific activities? For example, a child who only has a tantrum when it is time to do homework may be frustrated by the task and the task may be overwhelming. You may have to look at the task and decide if there is a justified frustration. If it is a specific activity, determine if there is something you can do to adjust or change the expectations to prevent the tantrums.
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