The Token Jar
Chris Curry often encourages parents to use a token system to help mark the positive behaviors we want from our children and motivate them to do that behavior more. I know that token systems really do work, but had not incorporated one into my home until after my sister and her children moved in with us. Once the honeymoon of living together wore off, the children began arguing and fighting so much that we all were getting irritable. Wanting some peace, I went to Walgreen's and bought a container of poker chips. Then I took out a vase and put it in a central location. I informed the kids that each of them has a certain colored chip/token and that whenever they are caught doing something that is family friendly (or helpful to other members in the family) one of their colored tokens would be put into the vase. I explained that when all of the tokens were in the vase, then the whole family could go on a special outing. (I like activities and would have taken them places anyway, so I just made them work for the outing.) I let them know that tokens cannot be lost because they already have consequences for negative behaviors. I did this because I noticed that kids will give up if they keep losing what they earned. When one child's tokens are all in the jar and they still do family friendly behaviors, they can choose someone else's token to add, thus continuing family friendly practice by helping each other. The kids are much less argumentative now. They share better, assist with chores better, respond without arguing to requests better, speak nicer to each other and help each other more. The kids earn a special outing every 2-3 weeks. It is much calmer at home now and I can say that I enjoy being with them much more now, which makes both home and outings more fun for all of us! Give it a try...it will work!!!
Fay Cadwallader
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